Warning of Doom
sits on the couch (out of disguise) watching Intestines of War. In the movie,
a soldier clutches his stomach and falls to his knees.
laughs. The phone rings. GIR picks up the phone. Rob Hummel, a Video Outhouse
employee, is on the other line.
man, it's been 4 weeks since you rented Intestines of War!
pounds his fist on the counter.
It's 20 days over due! Hello? Hello!?!
hangs up the phone. The credits for Intestines of War play:
picks up the remote and presses a button. Zim walks into the living room from
the kitchen and frowns at GIR from the entrance way.
I gonna watch it again!
TV shows static. GIR sticks his tongue out, making a squeak noise. Zim squints
I gonna watch it again!
walks over to the couch.
This is the 100th time, GIR. You have to stop watching this thing or- OH WHAT
TV shows the FBI Warning at the beginning of the movie. The warning reads as
WARNING OF DOOM! Federal law provides severe civil and criminal penalties for
the unauthorized reproduction, distribution, exhibition of copyrighted motion
pictures in any medium (Title 17, United States Code, Section 501 and 500).
The Federal Bureau of investigation investigates allegations of criminal
copyright infringement. They will hunt you down like the dirty monkey you are
and force you to wear a moose skin and ride a greased piggy while singing folk
tunes. They're forcing me to ride the piggy
as I write this. The piggy is smelly!!
PRINTED IN USA Zimpact Inc. All Rights Reserved
A warning!?! Oh no! Oh no! FBI!?! Who is this FBI!?! What are they trying to
warn us about!?!
grunts and howls like a monkey as he runs into the kitchen. The theme music
for Intestines of War starts playing. The phone rings. GIR answers it.
You got any of them taquitos?
to Zim's underground lab. Zim sits in his chair at the computer.
Computer! Give me all the information you have on the FBI!
The FBI is a government law enforcement agency.
Insufficient data!?! Can't you just make an educated guess!?!
computer screen shows an FBI agent stepping on the head of a man who is on the
ground with his hands in hand cuffs while another agent gives a thumbs up.
computer screen changes to show two FBI agents flying through the air holding
what looks like cell phones.
in 1492 by... uh...
computer screen changes to show some demons.
...demons, the FBI is a crack law enforcement agency-
computer screen changes to show two FBI agents breaking into a house, armed
with corn on the cobb.
-designed to... uh... I dunno... Fight aliens?
computer screen changes to show an agent punching an alien and holding his
badge while another is kicking an alien and giving a noogie to another alien.
I knew it! This is bad! This is so bad!
squeals as he opens a bag of Poop Corn and pulls out a handful of uncooked kernels.
He giggles and puts the kernels in his mouth. He then proceeds to chew them.
Zim scampers up to GIR.
That movie is some kind of government spying tool! Quickly! Eat it!
phone rings. Zim pulls out a voice changing device and presses a button
several times as the phone continues to ring. He holds the device up to his
throat and presses the button, shinning a red light from the device onto his
holds the device up to his throat again and presses the button.
holds the device up to his throat again and presses the button.
(even deeper voice): Hello?
picks up the phone.
(with deep voice): Hello?
How may I help you today?
I'm threw playin' around! You better return that video or else! This is your
(with deep voice): I'm
sorry, I do not know what you are talking about. I am normal.
If that thing isn't in the drop off box by the time we open tomorrow, you're
gonna payyy..... late fees!
fees' is echoed. Rob hangs up the phone. A small girl is standing at
the counter holding a DVD.
I wanna rent this one!
girl holds up the DVD and smiles, making a squeaky noise.
So you can keep it for weeks and weeks and not return it!?! What about all the
other people who wanna watch it!?! You ever think about them!?! Huh!?! Huh!?!
girl starts crying. Cut back to Zim's house. GIR chews on Poop Corn kernels.
Zim hangs up the telephone and holds the voice changing device up to his neck.
(voice back to normal):
That was them! I have to return this thing now!
begins walking up to the TV.
I'm still watching it! I wanna see what happens! I need it!
knocks his bag of Poop Corn off of the couch and starts crying. Zim stops the
movie and presses eject.
takes the DVD of the movie and walks out the door with it. GIR runs around in
circles screaming and crying. He stops running and hops in place. He holds his
head and screams a long high pitched scream and then falls to the floor,
asleep and snoring. Zim walks up to the mall. It is night. Zim pulls a pair of
goggles over his eyes, but other than that he is out of disguise. He walks up
to the front door and tries to open it, but it won't budge.
locked down their fortress... with locks! Okay, nothing I can't handle. I'm
returning this stupid movie no matter how hard they try to keep me out!
robotic spider legs emerge from Zim's Irken Utility Pack and becoming welding
tools, creating an opening big enough for Zim to walk through. The robotic
spider legs retract into Zim's Irken Utility Pack. Zim walks into the
mall. In the main security room, Zim appears walking into the mall on one of
the many television screens covering the walls. Slab Rankle, chief security,
stands in the center of the room monitoring the security screens. He keeps his
left eye shut at all times.
Rest easy, various retail outlets. Sergeant Slab Rankle is on the job!
Rankle walks up to the security screen displaying the Delicious Weenie
restaurant and puts his hand on it.
tight, Delicious Weenie! Your seedy buns will go unharmed this night!
rubs the security screen that shows the Video Outhouse.
the Video Outhouse! Slumber well, sweet Video Outhouse, with your video
treasures nestled deep within your vulnerable belly. Slab's on the job!
stands proud and makes a squeaky noise. Slab gasps as one of the security
examines the security screen and sees Zim creeping through the mall, hugging
himself against the wall. He darts behind a mall location map, then peeks his
head out from behind it. He then examines the map to see where the Video
Let's see... Video Outhouse, Video Outhouse... Fourth floor, D405...
intercom in the mall turns on, making high pitched feedback.
They know I'm here!
speaks to Zim through the intercom.
The mall is closed! You are in direct violation of code 4 slash 7 2! Prepare
to face my wrath!
Who are you!?!
Slab Rankle, serial number F305769 and you are in direct violation!
I violate nothing! I've come to return this video disk and there's nothing
that your precious FBI can do to stop me!
Nothing but amateurs! No, my friend, I'm afraid your tangling with someone far
worse than the FBI. You just crossed... mall security!
You're not the FBI? Huh. I worried for nothing. This is just a typical Earth
store. I've let my fears get the best of me. Heh heh heh, I'm very funny.
lights activate around the mall. One shines down on Zim. Zim runs screaming.
The game begins.
panel emerges on Slab Rankle's security control panel with a button labeled 'defenses.'
Slab holds his hand over the button. Zim runs down the mall hallway and turns
a corner. He sees the Video Outhouse up ahead.
sees the video drop-off box.
Simple! This little stink man will not get in my way!
Zim runs towards the Video Outhouse, Slab presses the defenses button. As Zim
runs past the Bank, the sign that says 'Bank' detaches and comes crashing
down. Zim summersaults to narrowly avoid getting crushed under the sign. Zim
gasps. Lasers shoot out from where the 'bank' sign was. The sign for a small
cart called 'MUGs' falls off revealing three bright lights. A wheel extends
from the cart and lifts it off the ground as the cart's roof unfolds. Two more
tires extend from the sides and create a laser in between them. Lasers extend
around the entrance of the Delicious Weenie. A pillar in the mall opens up and
shoots lasers out of it. A protective casing covers the entrance to the
FrisbeeB's store. A small tree tilts to the side and another pillar opens up
and shoots lasers. The entrance to another store is protected by lasers and a
small clump of bushes flips over and several devices extend from it. Several
more stores get protected by lasers including the Video Outhouse. Another
pillar turns into a laser device.
the top of a small tree near Zim bursts and create a huge wall of lasers
blocking Zim from the half of the mall behind him.
laser cannons emerge from the floor in a row. The shoot out laser beams one at
a time and Zim backs away from them as they get closer to hitting him. Zim
starts running. A new laser beam appears behind Zim every second. As he runs
by some rods sticking out of the ground, the lasers cut through them. Zim's
mechanical spider legs extend giving Zim more speed. Zim runs up towards the
transformed MUGs cart. It fires lasers at Zim. Zim leaps into the air, but the
MUGs Cart's lasers cut through Zim's mechanical spider legs. Zim flies through
the air and rolls across the floor as the last of the laser beams appear
behind him. Zim gets up and sees that the Video Outhouse is right in front of
him. Behind Zim, a fish water fountain stops spurting water from its mouth.
Zim glances at it and hears a beeping sound. Zim hears a different beeping
sound and glances in another direction. A large slug that serves as a mall
bench sits in front of a store, making the other beeping sound. Zim hears
another beeping sound and turns around to see a pig dressed in western clothes
in front of a Cowboy Cousine restaurant for decoration. Zim glances around and
sees that the three fake animals create a triangle around him. Zim makes a run
for it and runs towards the Video Outhouse. A grappling hook launches out of
the fish's mouth. Another grappling hook shoots out of the slug's mouth. Two
more grappling hooks launch from the pig's nostrils. The grappling hook from
the fish attaches to one of Zim's ankles while the grappling hook from the
slug attaches to his other ankle. The two grappling hooks from the pig attach
to Zim's wrists, causing him to drop the Intestines of War disk onto the
ground. The grappling hooks suspend Zim off the ground. Slab walks towards Zim
from out of the Video Outhouse.
me! Release me or suffer the wrath of Zim!
picks up the Intestines of War disk.
We meet at last, young trespasser!
struggles to escape.
There'll be time for you to grovel later!
paces back and forth.
Tell me something, do you understand the concept of business hours? Do you?
Well? DO YOU!?!
pokes Zim's face.
have rules for a reason, boy! Without them, there is only chaos, and chaos is,
oooh, I don't even want to think of it.
Could you drop that disk in the slot behind you and let me go with a warning?
I'm afraid not, this is evidence.
lifts up the disk. He rubs the disk on his face.
as for letting you go, NO!
pulls out a remote control. He presses a button and the floor tile underneath
Zim opens up as a trap door. The grappling hooks let go of Zim and he falls
into the trap. Slab presses a button and the tile closes.
(impersonating the president): Good
job Slab Rankle, your country commends you!
switches side so he can pretend he is talking to the president.
you, Mister President!
grappling hooks retract into their animals. Zim screams as he falls down a
chute into a prison cell. He grunts as he hits the floor. There are seven
other prisoners in the cell. One of them is the scary monkey, who grunts and
scratches his head. One of the prisoners, a black teen, turns around and sees
Oh man! An alien! An alien!
glances around nervously.
turns around and puts on his wig. When he turns back to face the other
prisoners, his goggles are gone and he is wearing his contacts.
Shriver steps forward.
Rankle got you too, uh? Welcome to our little club... of doom!
Who are you people?
all got our reasons for being here; shoplifting, loitering, singing...
Sgt. Shriver motions towards a middle aged man wearing glasses.
wearing prisoner: I
said I was sorry, what can I do? I got the music in my soul!
He caught me sleeping during my shift. When you break the rules, Rankle sends
you here. Every couple a days, he takes someone away. They never come back...
Some say he just lets 'em go. Me? I say he takes them and turn 'em into
horrible zombie soldiers in that new zombie lab they just put in out back.
But I don't wanna be a zombie soldier...
anyone ever escaped?
The only guy who ever escaped, never made it out.
glances up at the hole in the ceiling that he fell in through.
There is hope! With the proper guidance, anything is possible and I'm telling
you right now, you can get out of this cell if you only believed that you can,
then you can! Trust me! Rise my fellow prisoners!
prisoners look up hopefully.
up and use your revolting limbs to escape this prison!
Sgt. Shriver walks over to where the hole in the ceiling is, followed by
a Mc Meaties employee.
it! Yes! Climb on top of each other and form a stairway!
Sgt. Shriver and the Mc Meaties prisoner get down on all fours. The teen
prisoner starts climbing on top of them. Other prisoners walks towards them.
stairway of hope and cooperation! It's time to run free through your hideous
streets once more! If we work together, we can get out of here! Who's with me!
of the prisoners have formed a stairway, with the scary monkey on top. The
prisoners cheer and the scary monkey howls. Cut to the security room. Slab
sits in a chair in the center of the room.
don't worry, Lemonade on a Stick stand! Your brave protector Slab Rankle will
remain ever vigilant!
Intestines of War disk sits on the chair next to Slab. Cut back to the prison
doin' it! We're doin' it!
Onward to freedom!
climbs up the prisoners.
You see what can be accomplished if you just work together!
climbs onto the scary monkey and jumps off of him into the hole.
sound of Zim moving through the pipes is heard.
sound of something closing is heard. Zim lifts the floor tile that he fell
through earlier and peeks his head out. A small camera tree surveys the area.
It passes by Zim peeking through the tile and then goes back to double check,
but the tile is back in place and Zim is gone. The camera tree rotates to face
another direction. Zim pops back out of the tile and carefully shuts it behind
him. He looks over at a staircase that leads to the security room, but a laser
beam protects each step. Zim glance behind him and sees the Cowboy Cuisine
pig, smiles, and then runs to the stairway. He leaps onto an arrow sign that
says 'security' that is right in front of the door. Zim starts waving to the
starts making noises. The pig's targeting systems aim for Zim. It makes a squealing
sound then launches a grappling hook. Zim jumps out of the way and the grappling
hook goes through the sign and all the way to the top of the staircase where
it latches onto the door to the security room, giving Zim a safe runway to
reach the door. Zim runs along the thick wire of the grappling hook. In Slab's
security room, Slab looks at a security screen showing the House of Lard.
not fear, lard house. I'll keep your many enemies at bay!
sits back down in his chair.
opens his left eye revealing that his pupil is a little smiley face when Slab
discovers that the Intestines of War disk is missing.
looks over the edge of the chair for the disk. Slab looks over towards the
security door and sees that it is open a jar. The is some debris on the floor
that leads to a broken generator. The generator creates sparks and smoke. Slab
looks at it with his mouth hanging open. He looks back at the security screens
that cover the walls. They stop showing security camera views and instead
spell the words 'LASER GUARD SHUTDOWN.' Slab starts sweating.
It's not that easy, my friend. Slab Rankle is not that easy to pull one over
and defeat. Slab... and Rankle, and, and... Slab, and... Time for zombies!
runs down the mall hallways holding the disk. The stops right in front of the
Video Outhouse and looks behind him. A zombie rises out of the trashcan.
Another bursts out of a hidden compartment in the wall hidden by a poster that
shows the mutant from Door to Door holding hands with a child with the words
'SUPPORT FRIENDSHIP.' Rows of zombies go down the escalator. More zombies are
dumped onto the ground through a large tube.
approach Zim. Zim hyperventilates as they close in. Zim stands still, too
scared to move. A few zombies fall backwards. Some run into each other. One
falls backwards into the fish water fountain. Zim wiggles his tongue at the
zombies. The zombies don't seem to really notice him. Zim walks past them
towards the Video Outhouse. A zombie dressed in torn security cloths stands in
Zim's way, but that zombie just falls backwards. Zim walks on top of that
zombie. The zombie tries to grab Zim when Zim is standing on its chest, but
Zim jumps off of it before it can. Zim walks over to the video drop off box
and slips the disk for Intestines of War into it.
can stop Zim! Nothing! Not even this filthy army of zombies!
pushes his way through the crowd of zombies and walks towards Zim, grunting as
he pushes a zombie out of the way.
pushes another zombie out of the way and grunts as he pushes away more. Zim
walks up and stands in front of Zim.
appears I have met my match. You have bested my zombie soldiers and are a
worthy opponent. You have my congratulations- Nay! You have my admiration!
you see? If the two of us combine forces, nothing could stop us!
gets down on one knee and holds out a hand.
me! Together, we will rule the mall!
takes a dramatic pose.
no, that's okay.
marches off. When he walks out the exit, a zombie leaning against the wall
next to the door sticks her arm out. The door shuts on the zombie's arm. Slab
stands backwards on the escalator.
I guess it's my lonely duty to stand guard. Sleep tight, sweet mall.
Everything's okay. I'm here, baby.
reaches the top of the escalator and falls backwards.