Walk for your Lives

The Massive and its escort ships fly through space. Inside the control room of the Massive, a digital scrolling text sign on the wall says 'It's Probing Day,' repeatedly. On the main view screen is an image of Invader Slacks, who wears a pair of large fake nostrils as his disguise. The Tallest drink their drinks.

Purple: Hey! Invader Slacks! It's Probing Day! Whaddya think of that, huh? Huh!?!

Red: You've blended in well with the large nostril people of Boodie Nen, blah, blah, blah...

Red goes back to sipping his drink.

Purple: Now if you'll just show us a little puppet show depicting how you plan to destroy the planet...

Invader Slacks: Puppet show!?!

Red tosses his drink away.

Red: Everyone loves puppets! Except you, it seems. You fail inspection!

Purple: You get a... pummeling! Hmm-hmm..

Two mallets on mechanical arms extend from Slacks' base and pound him over the head repeatedly. He screams 'ow' in pain as they hit him and knocking him down. The Tallest cross arms in a toast, suddenly holding their drinks again.

Red: Happy Probing Day, Invader Slacks!

The Tallest sip their drinks. Slacks rises up, all swollen and saluting.

Invader Slacks: I shall... (a mallet hits him again and he groans) try harder sirs!

Invader Slacks is hit again. He groans, says 'ow,' and falls over.

Purple: You know, ever since we became the Tallest I... I dunno. It's neat. And Probing Day just makes it even better!

Purple crushes his drink in his hand. Red looks at a list.

Red: Hey, Zim's next on the list-

Purple gives a bitter look and drops his drink.

Red: -should we even inspect him? I mean, he's not really an Invader and... we hate him!

The sound of a transmission (from Zim) starting up is heard in the background. The second Zim starts talking, Red gives a surprised look.

Zim (voice only): Greetings, my Tallest!

Purple turns around and screams. Zim is transmitting from the experiment room of his lab.

Purple: Zim! We didn't call for you! You know, you're interrupting a very important-

Zim: Today's Probing Day, yes? Well, I'm ready for my inspection and I think you'll find that I am prepared!

Purple: How about we just pummel you and call it done?

Purple rings his hands and Red nods.

Zim: But you must see this!

The transmitter camera view moves revealing Dib floating in a containment tube covered in a time stasis field. GIR stands next to him.

Zim: I have prepared a human experiment!

Red looks at the list.

Red: Look Zim, we have some pummeling to do and eh... oh, hurry up, alright.

GIR climbs on the containment tube and pokes it.

Zim: This bothersome dirt child was captured trying to infiltrate my base! I've suspended him in a variable time stasis field. I made it myself! Does it not amaze you!?!

Dib: You'll never get away with this, Zim! I'm going to-

Zim adjusts a knob on a remote control, slowing down the field.

Dib (slowed down): -expose you...

Zim turns the knob, speeding up the field.

Dib (sped up): For the horrible alien menace that you are (the field returns to normal) and scoop your insides out!

Zim starts laughing evilly. A warning siren is heard, and a green spark come out of the remote. Electricity spews out of the time stasis field.


Zim: Huh!?!

The containment tube bursts in a huge explosion. Nothing is visible in through the smoke. Zim screams and yells as something hits him.

Purple: Well you look real busy exploding, Zim.

Red: What a shame. Moving on now!

Red motions with his hand and the main view screen goes into static. It cuts to a curtain, which unfolds to reveal a puppet set. Invader Slacks lifts up, (no longer wearing his disguise) with a puppet on each hand. Slacks ducks his head out of the way and makes the puppet talk to each other.

Invader Slacks (voicing puppets): Doo! Doo dee doo do doo do doo.

Purple claps and Red eats popcorn.

Purple: Yeah! Yeah! Two words: more puppets! Yeah!

Cut to Zim's wrecked lab. Zim climbs out of the smoking wreckage, grunting. Zim gasps when he sees the broken containment tube. GIR stands near it, dancing.

Zim: The Dib human! He seems to have been vaporized! Victory for Zim! Wait... Look at this place! Gaah! Probing Day is ruined! The Tallest said they would call back in an hour!

GIR stops dancing.

GIR: No they didn't!

Zim: Wait! If I can fix up the base before they call... GIR! Begin clean up and repairs now!

GIR: I don't wanna!

GIR jumps away and jumps back with a shovel.

GIR: Okay!

GIR salutes and goes into duty mode, then runs off. Zim wears his goggles and uses a welding tool on something. GIR shovels rubble and debris into a trash tube. He scoops up some more, this time scooping up Dib who is now green and constantly in slow motion. GIR dumps him along with the rubble into the garbage tube. Dib screams in slow motion as he is sucked through the garbage tube. The garbage tube leads to the tube that connects Zim's house to the neighbor's houses. Dib and the rest of the garbage are dumped into the living room of Zim's next door neighbors. A tumorous lady sits in a chair. Dib slowly floats into her lap.

Tumor lady: Hey! Look at that! It's one of them big head boys!

Cut back to Zim's lab. Zim grunts as he moves some rubble. Once he has moved it out of the way, he notices a small glowing ball that was underneath it. Zim picks it up. His hand starts to smoke and he drops the ball with a scream.

Zim: GIR! Remove... whatever that thing is!

GIR salutes and goes into duty mode briefly. He returns to regular mode and hops over, leaving his shovel behind. GIR picks up the ball. GIR's arm explodes.

GIR: Yaaaay! It burns!

GIR kicks the ball into the garbage tube. It is sucked up, but on the way up it hits the interior of the tube and falls backwards, burning through the tube and landing back into the lab, leaving a mark on the floor.

Zim: Quite playing around, GIR! I thought I told you to get rid of this!

Zim fetches a vacuum tube and sucks the ball up back into the garbage tube. A second later, it burns through the garbage tube and lands on the ground again, except slightly larger now.

Zim: Computer! Analyze this thing!

Computer: Thing is resulting explosion from destruction of time stasis field!

Zim: An explosion? Why is it not exploded then? Tell me now!

A view screen extends from a slot in the wall displaying wiggly lines not unlike sound wave lines.

Computer: Explosion co-bonded with the time stasis field.

The screen changes to the word 'result' along with a wire frame model of a sphere which is slowly filled with the explosion.

Computer: Result- explosion is exploding really, really slowly. Explosion cannot be extinguished. Explosion must expand to its (the computer coughs) inevitable size.

Zim: What is that size? And why is my computer coughing?

The view screen shows the explosion in small ball size on Zim's living room floor.

Zim: Yes...

The view screen shows the explosion filling up the center of the living room.

Zim: Yes!

The view screen shows the explosion filling up the house.

Zim: No!

The view screen shows the house explode.

Zim: No!!

The view screen shows the explosion getting as big as the whole city, and getting bigger still.

Zim: Enough already! Solutions, give me solutions! Solutions, give me solutions!

Computer: Explosion could be dampened, perhaps.

Zim: The city cess pool! Of course! Of course!

The explosion has gotten significantly larger.

Zim: We'll drown this thing in garbage and then get back here before the Tallest call back!

Computer: I didn't... say anything about the city cess pool.

Zim: Yes! Ingenious! Come, GIR!

GIR stands up and salutes, going into duty mode. Cut to a hallway somewhere in the upper levels of the base. Zim carries the explosion with special gloves and GIR stands in front of him and give him directions since he can't see around the explosion. A green monkey statue (like the one in the living room picture) sits on a pedestal. They slowly progress.

GIR: K, a little to the left. Step foreword. Okay, look out for the monkey.

Zim: Got it. Okay. How am I doing? Okay, monkey. Got it. Okay.

They walk out of sight.

GIR: Okay, look out for the other monkey. Okay?

Zim: Okay. Got it. Oh no!

The sound of something breaking is heard.

Zim: Oh no! Oh no!

Zim starts screaming as the sound of things falling over and breaking is heard.

GIR: Okay?

Zim: Okay. Look out!

The explosion bounces down the hallway. Zim chases after it. It bounces towards the elevator, which opens automatically letting it inside. Zim runs in after it. It bounces off of the wall and Zim catches it.

Zim: We cannot fail, GIR!

GIR slides into the elevator just as the doors close. The elevator starts going up.

Zim: Even as a small Irken Smeet, my dream was to pass Probing Day like a Slorbees passes her young: Jiggly, and full of juice! I must-

The elevator dings.

Zim: Oh, we're here!

The elevator door opens. Zim grunts as he forces the explosion (which has gotten slightly larger) through the doorway, burning up the doorway edges. They are in the Voot Cruiser docking bay. Zim glances at the singed doorway.

Zim: That was you're fault, GIR! You're bad!

GIR stares. Zim looks at the Voot Cruiser, which is in the center of the room on a raised platform.

Zim: Just another challenge! GIR! Cross to the Voot Cruiser and work the tractor beam! I'll hold the explosion here until you grab it with the beam! Hurry!

GIR's head compartment opens and he pulls out a nasty looking puppy.

GIR: Look what I found!

GIR holds it in Zim's face and shakes it. It makes little yelping sounds.

GIR: He smells real bad!

Zim tries to lean away from the dog. GIR starts dancing around with it.

Zim: GIR! Stop! No! Leave!

GIR hops on Zim's head. Zim screams and drops the explosion. It falls down into the docking bay and bounces around knocking things out of place. Zim moans. Things start smoking and spewing steam and finally explode. The explosion burns through the wall of the house and falls outside. It lands on one lawn gnome and destroys it, bounces onto another, then bounces onto the walk way and sinks into the ground. The front door opens and a huge fat lady disguise can be seen holding disguised GIR by the leash.

Zim: Plan B!

Zim squeezes the fat lady disguise out of the house. The body is hollow to cover the explosion and Zim stands on a hover platform to lift himself up and make it appear that his head is the old lady's. Zim wears an afro, make-up, and of course the contacts. The old lady skirt lifts up and Zim hovers above the explosion, then the dress goes back down. The explosion is lifted up and hovers inside the dress. Zim looks down into the old lady suit and sees the explosion get bigger. Zim groans.

Zim: We have to hurry, GIR! It's growing faster!

Zim hovers along, knocking down his fence as he leaves the yard. Next door, the tumor lady watches in the window as slow-mo Dib slowly runs out the front door.

Dib (slowed down): Must find help!

Tumor lady: Huh, look at him run all slow-like!

Cut to the city sidewalks. People get out of the way in terror as Zim hovers down the sidewalk in his old lady disguise.

Zim: Quickly, GIR! We haven't much time!

Zim gasps. The city cess pool is just up ahead. The sign for it is visible.

Zim: Look! The city cess pool! Smells like human...

Cut to another area of the city, where the residential area ends. Dib walks down the sidewalk. Dib looks across the street and sees the Fat Cop leaning up against the wall. From Dib's point of view, everything flashes by. People speed by doing various things, a pigeon appears, and even a cow appears,  but the cop doesn't move. Dib looks at the streets and sees the cars flash by. He then sees the cross walk change to 'walk.' Dib smiles. People around him start crossing. By the time Dib gets his foot down, the crosswalk changes to 'don't walk.' Dib slowly presses on. Cars drive towards him. Kyle Menke drives the car in the lead. He notices Dib and his eyes widen. He swerves and looses control of the car. It lands on it's side right in front of Dib. Other cars crash into this car and a huge pile up is created. Dib still pushes on. The cop hasn't moved. A flaming tire rolls over by the cop. Another car driven by Robert Hummel approaches from another road and stops before hitting the pile up. Robert Hummel sighs. A 'Morbidly Obese' truck crashes into him, knocking him into the pile up and sending the morbidly obese baby statue on top of the 'Morbidly Obese' truck flying. It flies over the pile up, hits a building, bounces into and off of the pile up and keeps rolling. Dib keeps moving, groaning in slow motion. Cut to the park. The Death Bee lands on a flower and then flies away. Carol Milican pushes an old man in a wheel chair along a sidewalk. Suddenly, the morbidly obese baby mascot rolls out of the forest and hits Carol. She screams. The old man starts rolling down a hill. He screams. He grunts as he pulls on the break handle but it breaks off. He rolls off the path down some more hills past a squirrel. He screams as he falls off of a cliff. Down bellow in the forest, Hugh Monstro stands next to Rob Hummel. Hugh opens his trench coat revealing meat. The old man in the wheel chair crashes into Hugh knocking him down and sending his meat flying. A slab of meat lands next to the Spooky Chihuahua. It grabs it in its mouth and drags the meat away.

Hugh Monstro: Hey! Come-a back-a with-a my meat!

High swings a sausage link angrily. Cut to the city cess pool. Zim approaches the entrance. Inside, an elephant hangs on to some trash. The Spooky Chihuahua drags its meat slab to the entrance of the city cess pool.

Zim: Dog with meat! Dog with meat!

Zim swings himself out of the way. As he spins around, he snags GIR on a bench causing him to fall back against a wall and fall over. The explosion bounces out. It lands on Zim's afro and bounces away. Zim screams. Zim lifts his head up revealing half of the afro burnt away.

Zim: Ho oh oh...

The explosion bounces away. GIR struggles to get up but can't. Cut to a police man arresting Iggins. Iggins screams as the police man pins him against the hood of the police car and begins to place hand cuffs on him.

Police officer: I'll show you not to stand around and do nothin'!

The explosion bounces by and lands in the middle of a nearby intersection. It sinks into the street. The police officer glances behind himself and sees it, but doesn't react. Then he turns around again and screams, throwing Iggins. The police officer speaks some gibberish.

Police officer: Run for your lives!

The police officer shields his head. The explosion gets slightly larger. The officer looks up.

Police officer: Hmm...

He straightens his hat.

Police officer: Oh, whaddya make a that?

Iggins sneaks away. The explosion gets larger, melting a stop light. People in the streets start running away. One guy rides a horse. An old woman drags Mary away from the explosion.

Old woman: Run!

She grunts as she tries to pull Mary along.

Old woman: Run!!!

She looks at how slow the explosion is.

Old woman: Well, uh... Walking's fine, honey.

They start walking away. Cut to a police officer wearing a megaphone helmet yells at the citizens who are only walking away.

Megaphone guy: Evacuate the city! Um...

The Megaphone blasts in one man's ears. He screams and then holds his ears.

Megaphone guy: No hurry, though. Just... you know, whenever.

An old man with a walker hums a tune as he slowly out walks the explosion. Cut to Zim's base. The explosion is visible in the distance. Zim and GIR walk up. Zim has abandoned the old lady costume but still wears the make-up and half-afro. Zim stops in front of the house.

Zim: The Tallest are gonna call soon!

GIR keeps walking up the walk way and falls in the crater made by the explosion.

Zim: I just know it! Base... so messy... and explosion so close! This is just horrible!

GIR: I know what you meeean.

Zim: That's it! Time!

GIR: What you saaaay?

Zim: If I can bring the time field around the explosion back up to regular speed, it'll fix everything!

Zim walks up to the front door.

GIR: No it won't!

Zim: The explosion will blow up like normal and be gone forever!

GIR: But won't it just explode? Just like this- KABLAM!

Zim: Do not interrupt my being ingenious! But I'll need another fragment of the time field as a trigger. The Dib monkey was in the field... 

Zim opens the front door a little.

Zim: Too bad he was destroyed...

GIR: But no! No he wasn't!

Zim: He wasn't!?! Good! Let's get him!

GIR: Won't the s'ploding hurt?

Zim grabs GIR from the crater by his collar.

Zim: Do not question Zim!

Cut to the city. Children run by screaming like monkeys. They see an ice cream truck and stop to get ice cream. The ice cream truck drives away. Behind it, Dib is about to reach Fat Cop. In his view, many things flash by including people stealing a TV playing the scary monkey show on it, a man on a bike, and gorillas.

Dib (slowed down): Almost to police!

Suddenly, Zim appears in front of Dib.

Dib (slowed down): Almost to..

Zim reaches his hand out. Cut to Zim's attic. A giant sling shot is extended from out-of-disguise GIR's head. In the sling shot is a metal sphere which is clamped around Dib's head. Zim approaches wearing no disguise and holding the time stasis remote.

Dib (slowed down): Zim!

Zim stand in front of Dib and adjusts the knob on the remote.

Dib (slowed down): You're just going to blow us all up? This is stupid!

Dib hits the metal sphere.

Dib (slowed down): This is stupid! Stupid!

Dib hits the sphere some more.

Zim: There! I've accelerated Dib's time field to cancel out the field around the explosion. Computer! What's the angle of trajectory?

Computer: 36 mark 2. But seriously, Zim. If you just speed up the explosion-

Zim: I don't pay you to contradict me!

Computer: You don't pay me at all.

GIR: But if the big s'plodey goes fast, won't it get all bad?

GIR cries. Zim hands him a lollipop. GIR eats it happily. Zim lifts up the remote and presses a button. A holographic control panel appears in the air. It shoots a beam towards Dib, which lines up with Dib's forehead and aims him to shoot through the hole the explosion made in the wall earlier. Dib groans. The control panel disappears. Zim hides behind some rubble and presses a button on the remote. The hooked wire holding back the sling shot pulls back further then lets go, sending Dib flying. Dib yells as he flies forward. He grunts as he crashes through the wall instead of through the hole. He screams as he flies through the air. GIR chews on his lollipop. The hooked wire retracts into his head. Zim pokes his head up.

Zim: I am Zim!

Dib continues screaming as he flies through the air towards the explosion. He hits several houses and grunts as he bounces off of them. He screams as he is about to hit the explosion. A wide screen shot of him flying into the explosion is seen. Zim watches intently. GIR messes with the slingshot wire. As soon as Dib makes contact, the explosion speeds up to super fast speeds and reaches Zim's base with seconds. Cut to a transmission from Invader Larb on the Tallest's main view screen on board the Massive control room. Larb, who has been pummeled, falls back against the Universe's most comfortable couch and he falls forward, sliding off of it.

Red: Thank you, Invader Larb. Happy Probing Day!

The transmission ends.

Purple: Well, was that everyone? I hope that was everyone! Let's go, I'm hungry!

Purple hovers away.

Red: Well, there is Zim but (Purple rises from the floor) I think he stopped being alive! Oh well, let's see!

The main view screen shows Zim bouncing around in the explosion, screaming. The transmission ends.

Purple: Hmmm... Okaaay...

Purple lowers into the floor.

Red: Wow.

Cut to Zim in the living room of his wrecked base. He walks over to his TV.

Zim: Hello! Hello!?! I am here, my Tallest! My Tallest!?! Noooo!

Zim falls to his knees. Dib walks up, looking badly beaten, but back to normal speed. Zim stands.

Dib: You jerk!

Dib collapses.